Skip to main content
  • Accessibility
  • Headlines
  • Coronavirus-News
  • Get-Hooked
  • Technology
  • Education
  • Employment
  • Parasports
  • Ask Bhavna
  • NHBrandView
  • Independent Living
  • Lifestyle
  • NH Videos
×
Newz Hook – Changing Attitudes towards Disability Logo
  • Stories
  • Videos
  • Inclusive
  • NH Voice
  • Login
COVID-19 Notification by Government in Accessible Format

Accessibility Tools

Text Size:

Contrast Scheme:

  • C
  • C

Reset

  • Home
  • Get-hooked
  • Visakan & Shalini – A true partnership of equals

Visakan & Shalini – A true partnership of equals

Get-hooked February 15, 2018
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)

In our series on Inclusive Couples, we bring you a story from Chennai.

Visakan Rajendiran refuses to be defined by his disability. An attack of polio when he was three months old affected his mobility from the leg down and his left hand partially. But this 35-year-old Chennai businessman is independent, drives a car and lives his life like everyone else.

So when it came to choosing a life partner, Visakan was determined not to let his disability be a deciding factor either.

‘People have asked me things like ‘Am I fit for marriage’. No one understands what disability means”, says Visakan. “They think that you are affected in every way, but I never let those comments affect me. I am arrogant like that. I believe that I am equal to any able-bodied person and I deserve the best. I wanted a girl who was educated and good looking and did not want to compromise”.

When he met his wife Shalini through an online matrimonial service, he was upfront about his disability. After a few phone conversations, Shalini came to Chennai to meet him.

“I liked her because she did not show a trace of pity or sympathy and was very open minded. She did not treat me like I was disabled” – Visakan Rajendiran

For Shalini, the biggest attraction was his attitude.

“He did not ask me for pity or appeal to my sympathy. He is very independent and never asks for help if he can manage by himself. I liked his boldness and the fact that he was very open to my views”.

Shalini stayed with Visakan and his family a few days with a family friend to better understand what living with his disability would mean. “She realised how she has to help me and she was comfortable with that”, says Visakan. “She went back and told her mother she was sure and that’s how we got married”.

Visakan says the biggest barrier the disabled face when it comes to relationships is their own attitude.

“We should not feel that we are disabled. Yes, the disability is there, but then there are many people whose disabilities are not visible. If we sympathise with ourselves, how can we expect someone else to look at us as equals? Once we go out and act normal, everyone else will be normal.” – Visakan Rajendiran

Shalini says that in Visakan, she has found the kind of support she never felt even with her own family.

“Talk to the person and then decide. Just because someone in on a wheelchair does not mean they are dependant. I wanted to become a fashion designer and my parents never encouraged that. But my husband supported me and sent me for the course, even though my in-laws were not supportive.” – Shalini Rajendiran

Above all, Visakan wants to break the stereotype that marrying a disabled person is an act of charity.“People who marry a disabled person think they are doing some charity work. I want to end that belief. Its not like you are sacrificing something”.

Read the other stories in our Inclusive Couples series:

Swarnalatha & Guruprasad – Sudden disability led them to find strength in positive thinking

Nafisa & Parvez – Companionship conquers barriers of religion & disability for this couple

Krishna & Stanzen – Love prevails over prejudices towards disability

Raghavi & Senthil – Spreading the joy of companionship to people with disabilities

Watch in Sign Language

Support us to make NewzHook Sustainable – Make a Contribution Today

We need your continued support to enable us work towards Changing Attitudes towards Disability. Help us in our attempt to share the voices of people with disabilities that enable them to participate in the society on an equal footing!

Contribute to Newz Hook

NH Videos

Healing pain through art - Dr. Anubha Mahajan, Founder Chronic Pain India

Contribue to Newz Hook |Disability news. Support us to make NewzHook Sustainable – Make a Contribution Today.

Newsletter

 Subscribe to our Newsletter

Want to feature disability stories or share disability news with the disabled community? Write to:

editor@newzhook.com

Newz Hook - Accessible News

Download App Now!

Videos

View More

Get-hooked

Understanding Headaches in Children with Autism

Get-hooked

#RareDiseases - Coping with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy powers Karan's passion to help others

Get-hooked

Understanding weighted blankets

Get-hooked

Pick festive gifts at amazing prices made at Utthan, a centre for people with mental disabilities

Newz Hook Logo

About Newz Hook

Newz Hook | Disability News - media site focusing on Disability Stories and Changing Attitudes towards Disability globally. We highlight disability news, offer inclusive solutions and create accessible collaborations. Our focus is to have Inclusion Champions from across the globe who will share disability stories and news.
Lets come together to change attitudes towards disability!

Newz Hook is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Follow us on:

Related Links

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Partner with Newz Hook
  • Embed Newz Hook Timeline
  • Affiliate disclosure
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Contribute to Newz Hook

Our Awards

Zero Project Award Winner 2018
Back To Top
© 2019 All Right Reserved. Inclusive News India Private Limited.

Ask Bhavna

All fields are mandatory unless specified as optional.