Small touches that make love stronger when dating someone with ADHD

In India, there are thousands of children and adults who are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). With right therapies, people with ADHD can lead a normal life.

So how will it be to date someone with an ADHD? It is definitely not a cakewalk. Dating someone with ADHD can have its share of pros and cons. Sometimes, partner of a person with ADHD might feel tired and exhausted being in the relationship due to numerous reasons. But good news is, there is a lot of scope for improvement. Talk to your partner about how you feel about certain things. Both of you together can make sure that it works out. After all, nothing beats true love!

One of the main things to remember when you date a person with ADHD is that, they are disorganized. So gear up for that! They forget even simple things like your birthday, to give you a gift and so on. They do not understand the concept of time. So if you have a date planned, try and put an alarm on their phone so that they remember to meet you. They don’t understand subtler emotions. Hence, accepting them for what they are is very important because at times they can be blunt about what they feel. But they will love you unconditionally. So do not be judgmental, and enjoy your time with the person- Chitra Shah, Founder, Satya Special School.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when you date someone with ADHD

• Know about the condition- There might be many reasons why you were attracted to your partner who has ADHD. You might have met the right person whom you are going to spend the rest of your life with! But have you tried to learn more about ADHD, its signs and symptoms and how it can make an impact on your relationship? It is always important to know more about your partner’s condition. You can talk to special educators, physicians, experts and even to his or her parents. The more you know about the condition, the better you can be prepared to welcome them to your life.
• Communication is the key- Take time to talk to each other. Know your partner’s likes and dislikes. In every relationship, whether it is for a person with or without disability, communication plays a crucial role. Imagine your partner with ADHD had a bad day and wants to talk about it. But you are in denial and prefer not having a conversation. It will only make things worse because your partner might believe that you are not there for him or her! So give your relationship its own time. Make sure that both of you connect well.
• Work on your relationship differently- Every relationship has their highs and lows. There might be days when you feel that you want to run away from your partner due to certain reasons. But have you tried working on it differently? Try and shower more love to your partner. A person with ADHD is generally very hyperactive. So keep your calm and reach out to your partner when they need you. After all, nothing beats true love.
• Look at the positives- There might be numerous reasons why you fell in love with your partner who has ADHD. So even when both of you guys are going through a rough patch, try and look at the positives. There might be a lot of good times that you have spent together. Those moments are truly worth it. Life is all about looking at the brighter side, whether be it work, relationships or love!

“When you are dating a person with ADHD, you must be aware of what’s in store when entering into the relationship. When you date a person with ADHD, you must have patience which is important like in all relationships. It is always best to have an open discussion to your partner about their disability. The more open and honest you are, the more they appreciate it. People with ADHD are intelligent. So if guided in the right path, they can be an awesome friend and a guide to you. Instead of asking other people about your partner’s disability, have an open discussion with them. In your process of dating, nothing is going to be bad. You are just going to experience newer challenges. With self-awareness about their disability, they learn to control themselves”, says Dr Moona Sumalatha, founder, Chaarana Centre for Special Needs.

ALSO READ: Some ways to manage ADHD without medication

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