Thoughts about friendships & love – By Soumita Basu

In the guest column this week, adaptive wear designer and founder of Zyenika Adaptive Wear talks about friendship and support in the context of Valentine’ Day.

Listening, with love,

An invitation: To talk,

I am here, to listen

It’s Valentine’s Day. Celebrated as the Day of love.

And I am grateful for all the love I have cherished in my love. Love that has been tough, kind, forgiving, supporting. Most importantly, Love that has added life to every breath.

When I felt at my lowest, I have been lifted up by love, sometimes from complete strangers.

How life changed after disability

A few years back, I was suddenly gripped by a chronic constant crippling pain and slowly I stopped doing things I didn’t have to think about before. My body lost mobility largely. The bone structures got deformed. Almost everything about me changed. I was left bedridden. While my body stagnated, I moved, life moved.

When you suddenly have to depend on someone else for your most basic needs, your life is far from stagnant. When you can’t eat on your own anymore, you start valuing every bite you take, valuing the person feeding you with love and care, appreciating your once favourite bite ever so more. So much love and appreciation made me even more vibrant.

The emotional stress of repeatedly facing my progressing disability is inexplicable. And yet, nothing was worse than heartbreaks. All kinds of relationships have hurt me sometime or the other. Some way or the other. It would have gotten the better of me had it not been for the love of my family and friends. They have helped me just wade through the times, they have helped me grow through the pain. Sometimes, they were just there being on the phone as I cried. Sometimes they just heard, without judgements. I have healed because of the love of family, friends (some who didn’t even know my name when they held me up).

I am yet to be as beautiful as them. And still, a few of my friends have given me the honour of being a witness to their struggles, to their journey to their​ resolutions​. They have often told me that just by talking to me they have felt much better and could face their challenges and overcome the obstacles with a little more ease​. I would like to extend my friendship​ now to even more people. I would love to talk through any troubling issues, particularly around relationships with family, friends, colleagues, spouse and above all, one’s own self.

Reach out & share

If you are upset, depressed or fighting any emotional battle, I would like to offer you my friendship. Years of experience in the development sector and as a social researcher has taught me to listen without judgement and bias, and be responsible about confidentiality. Life has taught me to believe that just being there can be the best we can do sometimes. That’s just what I want to offer – be there! I want to spread the happiness I have experienced because of the wonderful people in my life.

If you want to talk, just drop in a line at basu.soumita@gmail.com and we will fix a call!

Or just share this message.

(This is not a substitute for professional therapy and medical advice when needed for specific and relevant issues).

Also Read:

• At Zyenika Adaptive Wear clothes come with small touches for specific disability needs