Parenting – Old is Gold – Raising Mentally Healthy Children
#MENTAL_HEALTH_and_PARENTING : “…it is not a destination but a process, it is more about how you drive and not as much about where you are going..”
Why is that there is so much talk about #Parenting and its #Effectiveness off late? I don’t think my parents ever attended any class like that? Should be super thankful that we all turned out fine.(or so we think). BUT, not sure if they’d have managed fine if I were born in the current times! I myself dread that!
#O – #OPPORTUNITY_to_Learn is not just from home and school. Children learn from every sight, every sound, every touch, every taste and every smell that is around. Undoubtedly we live in an era where sensory information is way higher than ever before. With technology taking over, the magnitude of information to be processed by our brain is dumbfounding. Keeping this in mind it is inevitable that parenting steps up and it is prioritized with passion. If we want to inculcate our basic family values in our children we better be the most active part of their lives. Let us also use every #O pportunity to interact and understand our children and keep a watch on what they are learning.
HOW do we do that……
#L – by #LISTENING to understand. Take time to listen to all the little things for they are the big things for them. Show a keen interest in whatever they are saying even if we might not agree to it or find it amusing. Disagree when needed only after having given them a chance to speak and having listened to all that they want to say. For this, we will need time and
#WHEN should we find this time …..
#D – DAILY. We need to find time daily to listen. Unless it becomes a habit in the family to listen to each other they will not be comfortable to open up suddenly one day when there is trouble. Like we insist that our children they brush teeth, have a bath, eat healthily and sleep well for the sake of their physical wellbeing. Finding time to listen and allow them to share all their fears, sadness anger or happiness of the day. You need to share yours too so they learn to listen too. They learn that it is okay to have emotions like sad, angry or afraid and there is someone at home always to listen.
And #WHAT happens when we do this…..
#I – they become INTELLIGENCE not like the score they get in a standardized test but one that is needed for survival – emotional INTELLIGENCE. Most often when we listen to our children speak and have so much information about so many things we assume they know it all as they do act it sometimes. Let’s be clear that having a lot of information at hand is not equals being able to intelligently use it when needed. Being able to regulate oneself and one’s emotions are crucial to functionality and the earlier we help them the better for them and us and in case it gets really difficulty of the child and us as parents the best option then is to ….
#S – SEEK HELP. The help can either be from school and teachers or counsellors or from out of school whichever works. Take no shame whatsoever in asking for help and let us teach our children to do the same. It is absolutely fine to say that we are having a difficulty and we need help. Knowing when to seek help is also a sign of intelligence.
And this is important as we are preparing them for …..
#G – #Game_called_LIFE We are excited with the way our children play games on gadgets and the dexterity ( we think) they show with their fingers. This does not indicate that they can play a real game outside in real life. Life is a like a game. It has rules, there are penalties or naturally occurring consequences for their faulty choices, there is team play, there winning and losing, there is fair play and sometimes timeouts too.
And #WHERE is the best place to teach this
#O – OUTDOORS or outside in the world through real-life experiences rather than YouTube videos or apps or educational CDs. Give them more free play time where they create their own game and when there is trouble they make their Own solutions too. Open spaces out in nature are the best to foster mental health.
#L – LOVE UNCONDITIONAL, We all know this but tend to confuse on our expressions of the same. Love is not about giving in all the demands unconditionally to our children and filling all their wants. Love is making them understand that we will be there for them no matter what but at the same time correct and discipline too as that is only in their best interest. Love most often translates for children as the time you spend with them in meaningful interaction by.
#D – DISCUSSING, DISAGREEING WITH DIGNITY and THEN DECIDING: Disagreements are absolutely fine and much necessary too. They learn from us and watch how we disagree with other in real and virtual spaces too. Watch out for what we do more than what we tell them to do. When a child disagrees, listen first, discuss and understand their point of view and then you can still disagree and decide what is best for them. But do all of it with dignity without penalizing the child for voicing a difference of opinion however ridiculous it might seem to you.
None of the above is easy and we all falter but as long as we
are able to bounce back soon – We are good!
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