The lockdown and the world of special needs parents and children

March 25, 2020, the lockdown was announced. My son who was in between his class 8 exams was bored of preparing and revising for his indefinitely postponed final exams. His only comfort was his evening cricket time with his friend. Earlier it was friends but ever since news of COVID19 was pouring in, I had told him not to play in group, just his best cricket mate was allowed since Holi.

Before I narrate further, let me brief you about my son. Kabir, my only son will soon be 14.Hw was diagnosed first with Aspergers and finally with moderate autism spectrum. That was the year 2013.His main issues are sensory which I have trained him to manage .He goes to a mainstream school and he always has been a hyperactive child. He learnt how to tie laces in 2017.His handwriting is a proof of his late developed fine motor skills. He is good in studies and loves to cuddle and kiss and hug me. His therapists say it is his sensory need. I am training him how to be less demonstrative in public. Since he has endless energy he found his way out in sports. He demolished my drawing room left wall teaching himself cricket. Of course I made him join proper cricket academy for his practice, to save rest of my home! Since 2018 he has been part of a local college under14 cricket team. He also plays basketball, table tennis, football, kabaddi etc.

So now with this background ,you all may better understand what happened when I told him that he cannot go out of house and specially he can’t play with his friends. WHAT! WHY?????? And then long sulking silence. The afternoon passed onto evening. The glares, frowns and more silence. Finally I shake him and ask him to speak something .Angry, teary eyed frustrating silence and just monosyllabic ‘NO’.I and Kabir have a tradition of writing down our feelings whenever we can’t talk it out. Since my husband is often on tours, I and Kabir are each other’s constant companion, sharing our highs and lows of emotions. I took out my laptop and put it in his lap to type out and vent out his annoyance. He did, we both felt better and we sat down to work out other ways to burn his endless energy.

Now he has worked out a proper work out exercise schedule. He shares the list of work outs he is doing, squats etc which I patiently listen to. He also spends practicing his dance moves which he is learning on his own. He is allowed some instagram and twitter time. And of course he has his class 9 online classes daily and associated homework. Thankfully one part has been sorted. My smiling, cuddling son is back. I recently turned 49 and he made the day special. We parents can’t expect a smooth life. I have a new problem staring at me. He hates his online English classes. I do teach him at home as English is my own subject. But I cannot get his English teacher changed. Any suggestions!

-Nalini Srivastava @Naliniharish

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Nalini Srivastava