Hi Bhavna. My younger son with autism makes embarrassing remarks in front of my older son’s friends. He does not want to bring his friends home now. What can I do?

Siblings of children with autism often find their needs getting lesser priority. Parents do often focus on the disabled child’s needs more and this is understandable. What you are facing is a long-term situation and these are some things you could do.

• Between your husband and yourself, set aside time for each of your children. Make sure this time is shared equally between you and your spouse.
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You could try using picture stories about how people feel when they are told hurtful things. Work through the consequences of his own words on his brother and friends.
• Your younger son may not like having these friends over and could be behaving this way to prevent his routine from getting disrupted. Set a timetable to the visits and make it clear when his brother’s friends will be home.
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Specify what your younger son is saying that is not appropriate.
• Discuss the situation with your older son.

If your older son is very unhappy with this behaviour, you could consider letting him invite his friends home when your younger son is out of the house. Your older child has a right to bring home friends too.

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